Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
