In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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