i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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