He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
