Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
