I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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