i love accidental penises.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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