he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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