you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
