dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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