your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
