Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
