I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
