White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
