The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
