Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
this hospital has no fireball
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
