the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
