PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
