i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
