Screwed.edu
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
