She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
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