he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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