Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
