hell yes lets make some ravioli
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
