I want to make a zoo with you.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
