The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Randomize