I want to make a zoo with you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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