his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
