dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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