Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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