Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
