i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
