Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
