i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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