I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
