operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
