How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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