I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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