WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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