I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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