Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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