Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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