are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think my fart just growled at me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
