My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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