It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
