I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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