I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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