D3 body, D1 cock
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
another moral hangover. fuck.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
