I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize