How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
