can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
