i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize