I don't think brook has ever known best
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
organizing the empties. That sober.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
