After last night, I could never be a politician.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
