Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
