in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she told me i tasted like america
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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