i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
even my farts smell like vagina
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a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
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I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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