the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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