why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
