batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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