I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize