found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
