Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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