I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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