In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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