I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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